Monday, May 10, 2010 ___05:19

my actions may not show...
i seem fine steady and cold...
maybe its just that i do not know how to display and show concern, love, gratitude to you...the fear of you overpowers everything else since young that i just do not have that habit or im not used to it or maybe, even, im too coward to break through that barrier of the never-ending-cycle of inferiority and shame towards you.

but...

each time i walk towards my kitchen and see you sleeping on the sofa, posture, showing that that has been the most comfortable 'bed' you have ever slept for so long which in fact, your due 'bed' is supposed to be the soft, cosy and comfortable bed in the masterbedroom...

each time i walk back towards my room and see you sleeping on the sofa, my heart shakes, cracks and breaks...to see you snoring...to see you sleeping on something that could cause backaches and neck aches, for your age.. its not healthy to sleep so late, to sleep on such a thing, to smoke and drink so much coffee before your sleep, to fall asleep along with stress instead of the very thought of love and care you should be receiving from your wife and children...falling asleep without love...

the house is falling apart... a man... like you, of your calibre... has come to face such calamaties... i, as a son, could do nothing but just stand and watch.

i cannot continue typing any further...

motivation.acceleration.dedication